As The World Falls Down
by Indian Elephant
Summary: Terri is back with Rick and loves him more than ever. But the abuse is also back, and now worse than ever. Rated R for future chapters containing graphic violence, language, and sexuality. Please rr! Chapter 3 now up.
1. I'll Paint You Mornings of Gold

I'LL PAINT YOU MORNINGS OF GOLD

In the haze of all that had happened, the words rang clear.

"Thanks for forgiving me. I love you. I will never hurt you again."

They fell like raindrops on her heartstrings and her stomach knotted up. Those words. Not the three that every girl hopes to hear, but the ones that followed "I will never hurt you again." She believed him. She knew he must be sincere, or else why would he have bothered. She reached desperately for him and touched his face.

"I love you, too."

It was a piercingly bright day outside and the morning rose up over her body as she tugged the covers over her head. She knew that at any moment someone would come in and wake her, but she needed another three minutes in the warmth of her covers. She felt safe there, and as she lay, curled up in a ball, she remembered the dream she had just awoken from.

She'd been awake for three days waiting for someone. She didn't know who. Rick? No, that wasn't possible, because after the third day Rick came to her and demanded to know where she had been. She explained over and over that she had been waiting, and he kept asking what for. Then he grabbed her by the wrist and began to drag her. He dragged her to his car and put her in the trunk. The car seemed to hit every bump in the road as she lay very still in the dark, trying to keep her bearings. Finally it stopped, and she did not feel the relief she thought she would have. She was terrified as she heard the footsteps crunching over the gravel and scared she shut her eyes so that she wouldn't have to see his face so twisted in anger as it always seemed to be. The trunk latch popped and a cool breeze flew over her as light flooded her eyes. She squinted and shuddered, waiting for Rick to speak. Instead, she felt a pair of strong arms lift her from the trunk as if she was weightless. She felt safe, and knew she must be being rescued. She leaned into the arms, and squinted up into the face of her hero, but at that very moment, she awoke.

It was the same sort of dream she had been having almost nightly since she got back together with Rick. She ignored them for the most part, dismissing their warnings and convincing herself of how happy she was. But now something new had occurred. She'd been rescued. She knew it must mean something, she was a strong believer in omens and could no longer ignore the signs the dreams were sending. But who was going to rescue her? No one else had ever even looked at her the way Rick did, so why would they want to save her from him? As she pondered a voice shattered her thoughts.

"Terri, get up or you'll be late for school!"

She shook off the covers and stood too quickly. Her head spun and she was reminded of why she was constantly so dizzy and faint. It was, after all, Rick who had landed her in the hospital…..No. She shouldn't think that way. Rick was the only guy who had ever loved her and seen past her weight. He called her beautiful, kissed her like he meant it, and treated her like she was the only girl in the whole world. Why would she give that up because he made a few mistakes? Well, more than a few…


	2. As The Pain Sweeps Through

AS THE PAIN SWEEPS THROUGH

Some time between dawn and dusk her life happened, but she could never remember a moment of it.

It had been just two weeks, but already the pain was back. She had thought he accepted her unconditionally, but she knew otherwise now. She could sense it, the way he looked at her, how he was always asking her what she had eaten that day. She knew he meant well, but each inquiry was like a sharp knife twisting in her side. He used to say he loved how soft and warm she was. Now he would just look at her with disdain. As she walked home that day she thought about his words at lunch:

"Do you really need to eat today Terri? I thought we were going on a walk down to the ravine?" And with that he had seized her lunch tray and tossed it in the garbage can. As they walked out of the cafeteria, his resentful tone escalated. "I think the fresh air and exercise will do you some good."

The fresh air and the exercise. Maybe he was right. She watched her reflection as she walked past a window. She walked with slumped shoulders, and her soft belly protruded a bit. She knew exactly what he meant. She was fat, obese really, and it disgusted her. She placed a hand on her abdomen and attempted to make her stomach go flat. It wouldn't, and in anger she ran the rest of the way home. She had hardly anything in her system, but she knew she needed to purge herself of the feeling of fullness. She unlocked the door clumsily and ran to the bathroom. Forcing her finger down her throat she wiggled it until her gag reflex kicked in.

She could taste her crimes as they erupted from her unwilling mouth.

Once she was cleansed she walked calmly to the living room and picked up the phone. Her fingers found their way easily to the digits of Rick's number, and she felt some comfort in being able to talk to him.

"Sure, I'll be right on over."

He had a familiar knock, light and impatient, and it always made her feel guilty, as if she was keeping him waiting. She flung open the door and greeted him wholeheartedly. He looked happy to see her, and for a minute every bad memory faded from her mind and she wanted nothing more than to be in his arms.

Cuddled on the couch, Rick began petting her hair. His hands were coarse, and she felt comfort at how easily they glided through her silky hair. She turned to him and gave him a warm smile. He did not return the gesture.

"Terri, how long have we been together?"

She pondered, knowing that if she gave the wrong kind of answer it could have consequences. She quickly thought up what she figured to be an adequate response.

"It feels like a lifetime." Rick looked pleased with this and as his face softened he began playing with her hair. "What would you think of us taking our relationship to the next level?" as he spoke he lightly grazed her face with the back of his hand, "maybe become more intimate. I just love you so much."

She knew what he meant. This wasn't the first time he had insinuated that they should go beyond just kissing and cuddling. But Terri knew she didn't feel ready to open herself that way, especially with all her insecurities. What if Rick took one look at her body and was completely disgusted? She was torn between wanting to make him happy and needing to stay in her personal comfort zone. As his hands began to graze other parts of her body, she pondered where this might lead. Was she ready for this next step?


	3. I'll Spin You Valentine Evenings

I'LL SPIN YOU VALENTINE EVENINGS

Pinned down on the couch by Rick who had a strange, hungry look on his face, Teri felt herself begin to sweat. She didn't want to have sex with Rick. She wasn't ready, but she had no idea what he might do if she didn't. As the possibilities spun through her head, a heavy tension hung in the air between them. She looked up at his face. His eyes met hers and pleadingly he proffered, "I would do anything for you Terri, say you feel the same way. I just want what I feel is rightfully mine."

Rightfully mine. Those words hit like a blow to the stomach. Her body was rightfully his? Her pureness? He thought he could control that? She suddenly felt defiant. She pushed him away.

"No, Rick! I won't…" as she spoke she saw his face tighten in anger. She knew she shouldn't have burst out like that, but she a sudden rage had taken over, and she had felt herself full of passion and energy. But that heightened anger was dissipating quickly, and she knew her action would have consequences. Rick approached her slowly, his face twisted in rage.

"Never, never do that! You don't say no to me!" His face was red with fury and his hands balled up into fists. When he reached her he delivered Terri with a slap so hard it almost knocked her down. "You cannot defy me! I will get what is mine!" Another slap. Then he pushed her down on the couch and she could smell his hot stale breath. It threatened to suffocate her, and as it seeped into her pores she closed her eyes and held her breath. Yet another slap, that left her face burning. She opened her eyes to see Rick stumbling over the buttons on her blouse. She couldn't believe he was doing this. She opened her mouth to speak, but the voice that came out was a faint choked sound that wasn't anything like her own.

"Rick, don't!"

She felt so powerless as he finally managed to get her top off. He didn't even look all that pleased with what was underneath. Looking disdainfully at her full stomach and stretch marks, he punched her softly. "God, Terri. Where is your self-respect? Don't you take any pride in your appearance?" The words hurt worse than any slap he'd ever delivered, and hot tears ran down her face. She couldn't say anything. He looked angry again. "Well, do you? Jesus Christ, you're a cow Terri? How are you any good to me now?"

The words offered her hope, and for a moment she thought this might be her saving grace. If he found her repulsive, surely he wouldn't want to sleep with her. But as his hand fumbled with the zipper of her pants, she knew she was wrong. Dead wrong.


End file.
